Iknowtoomuchatitus
by PoMZ
Summary: Silly story about merry and pippin teasing gandalf.PG just in case


**Author's Note:** Just a silly story about Merry and Pippin making fun of Gandalf. By the way the game they play is what actors Billy and Dominic played while they were still shooting for Lord of the Rings movie. (See The SEE of Fellowship of the Rings.) 

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Merry or Pippin (damn! *sob*) or any other thing that is LotR. But I think I might be the first person who found I-Know-Too-much-atitis. 

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At Rivendale, after Aragorn, Merry, Pippin and Sam arrived, there was a long period of time until Frodo had recovered from his fatal wound. This is just a little incident that could have happened until Frodo woke up. 

*~*~*~* 

Merry and Pippin were bored. They were worried of Frodo of course, but Strider had told them that Lord Elrond looked after Frodo and they just had to wait until he regained consciousness. So they waited, and waited, and waited, and they were getting quite bored. Sam wasn't with them in the huge empty dining hall because he didn't want to leave Frodo's side and sat next to the bed holding his hand. Merry and Pippin had excused themselves from that, saying they knew Frodo didn't have enough hands left for them each. Instead they went to the dining hall to get something to eat and decided to wait until something happened. So they waited, and waited.Anyway, the point is they were bored. 

Merry looked around the large room. There were many chairs and tables, all elf size, and the ceiling looked like they reached the skies. He and Pippin were the only ones in this silent space as they dangled there feet on the too-big-for-them chairs and munched their apples. Suddenly he had an idea. 

"Pip." He said to his cousin. 

"Mmn?" Pippin answered as he finished off his apple. 

"I bet I can touch all the tables in this room faster than you can." 

Pippin tried to smirk, but choked on the apple instead and got into a frenzy of spluttering. After Merry got him some water and settled him down, he grinned at him. 

"I bet you can't." 

*~*~* 

Soon the two hobbits were at the end of the hall and ready to get started. Pippin volunteered to run first so Merry had to count how many "Mississippi" 's it would take him. 

"Ready," Merry yelled as he raised his hand "GO!" 

Pippin dashed through the room with all his might and slammed the tables as he passed them. Merry was counting for a few "Mississippi" 's but stopped and smiled evilly as he watched his poor little cousin running like a mad dog then panting and coughing as he came back. 

Pippin breathed, "So.*pant* . how did.*pant*.I go?" 

"Oh, I'm sorry. I lost count." Merry replied innocently. 

Poor Pippin's face fell and he slumped back to the starting position. 

So he did it again but when he finished this time Merry complained that he wasn't quite sure if Pippin started when he said "ready" or "go". This continued for about 4 times. 

"I'm going to get you, you know that Merry." Pippin hissed under his breath as he waddled to the doorway for the fifth time. 

By this time Pippin's speed had gone completely slow and his hairy feet were aching. Merry decided he had his fun and announced Pippin had taken 240 Mississippi's and it was much too slow for a young hobbit like him. 

"I'll be able to do 5 times better than that." Merry sneered as he flexed his ankles. 

Pippin was just about to start the race, and secretly thinking of an excuse for not counting, when he saw a familiar grey figure. 

"Gandalf!!" he yelled and tried to run over to him, but because of his recent exercise he tripped over his own leg and fell flat on his face. Merry tried extremely hard not to breathe. But he couldn't. He burst into an oblivion of laughter and rolled on the ground clutching his stomach. 

"Hobbits." Gandalf grunted. 

Pippin at last was able to pick himself up and reach Gandalf, his face red as a tomato. 

"Gandalf, we're so glad you made it." He smiled. "We were so worried when you didn't meet us at Bree and let us be hunted by big black hooded riders who were, let me add, extremely scary and make us follow a total stranger who smells like he hasn't bathed for a decade. For a second there I thought you were killed, and your ears were pulled off, and your eyes were poked out, and you guts were ripped away and you were minced into a million pieces and." 

"Stop! Stop!" Gandalf the Grey yelled looking a little bit greener than grayer, "Ok, I apologize that I could not turn up at Prancing Pony, but there was a delay." 

Flash back starts but Merry sneezes and interrupts it and the whole sequence of Gandalf bravely throwing him self off the tower and riding the eagle is cut. 

"I have seen Frodo," he said in a huff, upset that his proud flash back couldn't resume, "Why have you two not been with him like royal Sam has? Do you not worry about him? Are you not Frodo's most beloved cousins?" 

Merry felt offended by that. 

"We _are_ concerned about Frodo, but we know he's strong enough to get through this." He commented, "We decided to trust you're old elfish buddy because we trusted in you too Gandalf. And by the way, we were there to protect Frodo at Weathertop when the Black Riders attacked us and so was Aragorn, unlike _someone else_." 

Gandalf growled "Ah, but I heard that if it wasn't for three foolish hobbits, whom thought that making a fire where the enemies could clearly spot them was a good idea, Frodo would not have been pierced by the sword of a Nasgul." 

"You better watch it Gandalf," Pippin puffed, prepared to be turned into a rabbit by the powerful wizard in any second, "Or.Or. You'll die from I-know-too-much-atitis!!" 

Gandalf scoffed. "Ha! Is that all you can come back with your small brain Peregrine Took? _I-know-too-much-atitis_? How ridiculous!" 

Pippin bit his lip and clenched his fist as the old man chortled at him, and before he could say anything Merry whispered loudly to him. 

"Oh no Pip, Gandalf doesn't know I-know-too-much-atitis!" 

Gandalf stopped laughing. "Meriadoc Brandybuck. I thought you were meant to be the mature one, but is it you who was the one teaching this poor dumb Took with trickery?" Gandalf sighed as he shook his head. 

"Oh, no Gandalf," Merry shook his head back "this is no trickery. This disease is serious and dangerous. Just last year old Bolger nearly drowned to death from it. He was trying to memories the whole history of pipe weed when "Plop!" he collapsed into the Brandywine River. And after he was saved he had a fever for weeks too. All because of I-know-too-much-atitis. Heard they've got cures for type B and E, but I think your one of the rare ones with I-know-too-much-atitis D, don't you reckon Pip? 

"Yes Merry," replied Pippin, going along with Merry's fib, "His symptoms clearly show what Sis told me about the disease. The number of wrinkles on his forehead, the big nose, the bushy-ness of his eyebrows, it all adds up. I think he might be born with it, carried through the genes, skipped generation or something." 

"I am quivering with fear." Gandalf sarcastically remarked but, although he didn't show it, was feeling gullible with all the details these two halflings had known for a change. He was slightly becoming uncomfortable by it. 

"Your not scared enough Gandalf," Merry warned "you give it a couple more years then things will get really serious. First, it'll be just a fever. Then your temperature will rise until you can't even touch wood without burning it. Then your boiled brains will start leaking out of your ears. Then things get even nastier! Oh Gandalf! I think your face is looking a bit red already!!" 

Gandalf touched his face; it did seem a little hot. He sweated from panic. 

"Oh my!" Pippin wailed, "Now he's sweating! Merry I think he'll soon start twitching his eyes. It's Ok Gandalf, sis told me everything about this. I'm going to ask you a few questions so answer honestly, OK?" 

Gandalf nodded and his eyes starting to twitch a little. 

"Have you been reading lots these days? (Gandalf flinches as he remembers reading accounts of the Ring) Any running around or traveling to far places to figure out things? Have you become short-tempered, or very angry with some one that you attacked them? Do you smoke more often now?" 

Merry giggles behind his hand as Pippin ignores the sweating, flinching, eye twitching, red-faced wizard and continues his questions. 

"Have you had head aches recently? Have you caught yourself talking to yourself or an animal? Do you think your hair has been growing faster than usual for the last 10 days? Is the last time you washed it a mere memory for you?" 

"Yes, yes, YES!!!" Gandalf cried "Ever since I saw the ring it had bothered me and now it has made me ill. Even before that, I have been concerned with knowing so much knowledge. I _did_ have I-know-too-much-atitis and I've never even heard of it!!" 

"There, there." Merry patted the old wizard who sank to the ground, "Do not despair Gandalf the Grey. For we might be able to help you, since you haven't started seeing imaginary flies yet. But this is going to be .how should I put this.hard." 

Gandalf begged, and he was sure he just saw a black dot on his nose, "Tell me! What must I do? I will do anything!!" 

Merry and Pippin looked at each other and grinned. 

"Well." 

*~*~*~* 

That evening Lord Elrond was quite worried when he saw his old friend wearing a red cape, his beard tied with ribbons and running around the forest yelling, "I'm a mindless donut!!" and wearing pink flowers behind his ears. 

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**Author's Note:** Mwahaha I am so evil to Gandalf. I don't know why I pick on him but he always ends up as a victim of nervous breakdowns. anyways hope you liked it! 


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